Short. Precise. Language.
May 6, 2025
Apparently, language matters. Go Figure. **I took this off of my substack page. I figured, why have a substack when I have a website?** Let’s
ALL BLOG POSTS
On Toilets and Masculinity
June 8, 2024
In a triumphant moment of manliness, I recently replaced a toilet in my house. If you have not had the pleasure, please bear in mind
Yours for Just Three Easy Installments of $19.99!
November 14, 2020
I had a dog for a while. Actually, I had a dog for a while 3 times. I’m not a dog person, though I always
Shiplap and Good Intentions
July 27, 2016
Gather ’round as I regale you with stories of paving roads… As I sat one day watching HGTV (before you jump to any conclusions, I
Wait. What does that even meaning?
February 4, 2015
Super Bowl XLSIKFIII occurred this past Sunday. (For those of you unfamiliar with this event, just picture the World Men’s Curling Championship, but with a few more
Post, Virate, Repeat
September 6, 2013
I just finished demolishing an ottoman. Just reaffirming my manliness. I was going to say I just finished disassembling an ottoman, but that sounds like I used my brain. I was just out there smacking stuff with a hammer. I smell like man.
Ah, Home Crap Home
June 21, 2013
It’s been a while since I have graced the pages of another blog, much to the disappointment of at least 13 people. In fact, I have had literally 2 requests that I return to the pages of the internet (they have it on computers now). You can only ignore such demands so long (“Hey Rob. You haven’t blogged in a while.” I get it. You need me).
The Cure for the Sickness of El Dorado
February 26, 2013
The beginning of success is the realization that El Dorado has not, does not, will not ever exist except as dark and perverted fantasies posing as glamorous legends — the acceptance that there are no shortcuts, that nothing worthwhile comes quick and easy.
Tonight….I Celebrate My Love
February 12, 2013
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately getting myself ready for Valentine’s Day. Nothing out of the ordinary–picking out my favorite outfit, manscaping, honing my Rick Astley (that sounds dirty fella)–you know, dude stuff. I like Valentine’s Day. Of course I like it. What’s not to like? There’s candy, love, flowers, this:
We Wish You A Merry Aerosmith!
December 13, 2012
It wouldn’t be the Christmas season if the stores were and hooter than they HOTTER than they are. It’s finally Christmas; the time of year when we care a little more; the time of year when we are a little more giving; the time of year when we can watch Chevy Chase and not feel dumber for it. And so, in honor of the season, I spent an evening pondering the true meaning of Christmas, warming myself by the fire with a warm cup of hot cocoa…
um…i think i’m going to take my pants off
December 1, 2012
There are rare moments in life when you hear, read, or see something something truly poignant; something that shifts your worldview perhaps providing renewed purpose. For many (if not most) of us, one such moment occurred in 1987:
The great peanut butter debacle of 1985
November 15, 2012
It’s that time of year again. Kids are returning to school, the temperature’s dropping, and presidential campaign’s heating up. My daughter is going to school
A Festivus for the rest of us
October 30, 2012
A magical event happens each year in March, something with which I am afraid far too many people are unfamiliar; a holiday that brings us together and fills our hearts with wonder and anticipation. I am not referring to the overly-commercialized holidays like National Frozen Food Month or Peanut Butter Lover’s Day.
Excuse Me While I Whip This Out
October 9, 2012
This is actually the seventh time I have written this blogpost. The original post talked about how I used to write songs when I was in a band. I was in a band. A very sexy, cool band with a horn section. We were super cool. Lots of women were attracted to us. It’s hard not to picture how amazing I looked on stage:
My Density Has Popped Me to YOu
September 13, 2012
There is a horrible idea out there perpetuated by romantic comedies. The idea of a soulmate (or in this case, one perfect campsite that was meant for me). I know this sounds horribly unromantic of me (especially after such a romantic blog), but there is no such thing as a soulmate, at least not as we know it.
Oh, I’m mom enough.
September 5, 2012
When people first find out I am a marriage and family therapist, they tend to assume two things: 1.) I am analyzing everything they do as a couple and parent, and 2.) I have a perfect marriage/family. I feel now might be a good time to publicly address these rumors.
What was it George? Birdwatching?
August 23, 2012
I’ve been bothered lately by the idea of anonymity. Why is it that I can’t read something on the internet or listen to music without Facebook telling everyone I know about it, but I can spend three hours on an airplane farting and no one is the wiser?
Why Don’t You Just Tell Me the Name of The Movie You Want to See
August 10, 2012
I love movies. I want to start a movie club. The problem, apparently, is that movies (the cinematic arts, to the high-brow among us) are for dummies, the uncultured and uncivilized.
I Totally Phoned in that Dennis Quaid Movie
July 20, 2012
I’ve had a problem with expectations since the 8th grade PE with Coach Rock. Our class was rotating through sports and had just wrapped up softball, where I really shined. I was catching everything. I was pulling Derek Jeter’s into the stands. I was eating onions; I was spotting dimes.
A Dive into Lake Me
July 13, 2012
Sometimes I wonder what I am doing in the therapy field. I think I’m a pretty normal guy. I like to watch movies, I go running, I took a modern dance class…you know, normal guy stuff. I don’t come from a difficult background (although my mom is Canadian), but it seems like that is a prerequisite for being a therapist. Come from a difficult background…and be weird.